Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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