he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
