Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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