she was so not down for the gang bang
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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