it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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