I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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