belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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