If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
