Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
