If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
