you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
His nipple licking is glorious
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