I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
