shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
