Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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