remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
