i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
