remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm jealous of your bromance
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
