I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
