he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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