Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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