So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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