Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
