he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
they're like a gay fantastic four
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
