I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
