My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
