That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I want her autograph on my taint
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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