based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
