dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
