he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
