So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
