what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
