That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
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