Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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