Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
