i'm signing you up for texting rehab
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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