Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
