I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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