I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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