dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
