Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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