I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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