She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Alive.
So much puke
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
