You work out of a Hotel?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
