I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
