I just pynch a tree in the face
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
