Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
What a dumb baby whore.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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