I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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