Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
