this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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