is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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