I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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