Im at strip club and am horny
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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